Stick to your guns, Grandma!; and etiquette advice on eating food from a skewer
Q. I have a dilemma of a sort. My daughter and her husband have two children under 12. Both my daughter and her husband have jobs requiring lots of office time; therefore, there is not a lot of cooking done at their house and actually setting a table is not one of my daughter’s priorities after a long day at the office, which I can understand. When they come to my house for a meal, however, I set my dining room table with actual china, silverware, stemmed glasses, cloth napkins, etc. I like doing it. My daughter thinks I am “way too formal” and that her kids would be happy to have pizza on paper plates and we all sit on couches and the floor and watch TV while we eat.
I refuse to do that because I think it is important for my grandchildren to realize there is a more formal side of life, and someday they will be glad they know why there are two forks on the left side of their plate, etc. My husband recently said he thinks maybe our daughter is right and I should “lighten things up a bit” and be a little more casual and that maybe a night of pizza and paper plates is not such a bad idea. I am not going to give in. Please tell me there are still people out there besides me, who feel the way I do and tell me that this world is not going to slide any further into this casual lifestyle.
A. I totally agree with you. Someday your grandchildren will be so very glad they had you to guide them in what a more formal table looks like, what all the utensils are for and how to use them. There are still many people out there who feel the way you do, I assure you. What I cannot tell you is how much further this world is going to slide into this very, very casual “paper plate” mentality. I hope the pendulum begins swinging back to families enjoying at least one meal a week together at their dining room table, set with the finest dishes and silverware they have.
It doesn’t have to be china, nor silver silverware — just a properly set table with whatever dishes and silverware the family has — in the correct places. And, hopefully no television in sight and no cell phones or IPADs at the table. They might all be pleasantly surprised at how much they learn about each other if they actually talk and share information. Bottom line, Grandma: Stick to your guns!
Advice on eating from a skewer
Q. What is the proper way to eat food on a stick? Like I am seated at a dinner table and the waiter puts a tray in front of me with skewers of about three items, like a piece of pineapple, a piece of meat and a little tomato for instance? Do I just use my fingers and get one? Can I eat it right then and can I put my mouth around the three items (when they are very small) and put all three in my mouth at one time — like it really is the size of a biteful? Can I take more than one? Do I use my fingers to pick up these little skewers from the tray? Do I place them on the top plate (of all these plates in front of me) or can I place it on my bread and butter plate?
A. As you describe the situation, wherein a waiter places a tray of these small skewers in front of you, and it is the first food to have been brought to you, they are considered appetizers. (Normally, appetizers are served in another gathering area prior to guests being seated at the dining table; however, the hostess may serve an appetizer at the dining table as the first course or pre-course.)
As you look at the tray, quickly count approximately how many skewers are on the tray and divide that number with the number of people seated at the table. You will quickly understand whether you can have more than one skewer. You may then use your thumb and index finger to carefully remove a skewer from the tray without touching any other skewer with your fingers, and place it onto the first or top plate of your place setting. This should be a small butter plate size or slightly bigger plate.
Do not place it on your bread and butter plate. If there are enough skewers on the plate for you to have two, then remove the second skewer in the same manner and place it next to the first skewer on the same plate. Do not pick up either skewer from the top plate until everyone at the table has been served and the hostess picks up her first skewer. Then you may pick up your first skewer using the same two fingers.
To be very proper, I would suggest you place the skewer in your mouth far enough to remove only the end item from the skewer with your teeth. Replace the skewer onto the plate and chew the first piece of food. Then pick up the skewer again and remove the second piece of food, replace the skewer, chew and repeat the same process for the third piece of food on the skewer. Place the skewer stick vertically on the left side of the plate and then repeat the same process with the second skewer.
Remove one food item at a time
My suggestion to remove one food item at a time is this: If you were to place the entire skewer into your mouth so as to get all three pieces of food on the skewer into your mouth at one time, you may suddenly unfortunately realize the stick is longer than you thought and you may skewer your mouth. Or when removing the three food items with your teeth, you may find they are bigger than you thought and you may have such a mouthful, you cannot properly chew all three at one time. Besides that, you would look ridiculous and ill mannered.
You place the skewer sticks vertically on the left side of the plate after you have removed the food items because when the plate is removed from the right, the waiter can grab the plate on the right edge and remove the plate without accidentally flipping one of the sticks onto the tablecloth or into someone’s lap or place setting.
I cannot help but wonder what the other courses were which you were served because the first course, no doubt, was the precursor to a very elegant dinner. Bon Appetit!!