Is it okay to include copy of obituary in sympathy card? BND etiquette expert weighs in

Q. When my mother sent a sympathy card to someone, she would include a copy of the deceased person’s obituary which she had clipped out of the paper. I have done that for years myself. My daughter thinks that’s not the thing to do any more because people can go on line and read it or make a copy of it. Thought I would ask you.

A. It is very thoughtful to include the obituary from the newspaper and include it in your sympathy card. There could be relatives of the deceased who do not get a paper containing the obituary and would love to have another clipping to give or send to a family member or close friend.

Q. If a neighbor borrows a serving tray from you, can you tell them when you need it back or is that just up to them to return it as soon as possible? Or if you need it back and it hasn’t been returned, can you call and ask for it back?

A. Yes, any time you borrow something from someone else, you should return it as soon as possible.

• But, if you know you will be wanting to use the tray in a few days or the next weekend, then tell the neighbor when it is picked up.
• If the tray has not been returned and you need it back, by all means, call and ask if it could be returned as soon as possible.

Q. As a teacher for first graders, I often get Christmas gifts and end-of-school year gifts. It is so thoughtful, but I have so many bracelets that I will never have time to wear them all even if I live to be 100 years old. So, I was thinking how to better utilize those gifts. Would it be too forward of me if I sent a note home to the parents telling them how grateful I am for their end-of-year gifts, but in view of all the terrible things going on, instead of buying a gift for me, would they consider giving to a local charity?

A. Great idea and, no, you are not being too forward.

Q. I like giving Easter baskets to my grandchildren no matter how old they are. So if it is a little one, it’s candy and a little toy of some kind. It if is a teenger, it could be a gift card and some candy. My husband thinks I should stop once they they become a teenager. Is there a cutoff age?

A. I have not heard of an age cutoff at all. Grandchildren, no doubt, enjoy the baskets at any age. What a great feeling to give — and to receive.