Metro-East News

What would you do if a nuclear missile was headed our way?

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to June when I can start complaining about the hot weather for a change.

But in the meantime, sitting inside in the warmth, browsing Facebook like your average retired person, I see a boil order for several cities. I panicked at first but then I realized I don’t live in any of them or the area affected.

It wasn’t like the last boil order, which covered a huge area. I drank a big glass of water right out of the tap for breakfast without boiling it before I knew anything about that boil order and miraculously somehow I survived.

But I thought about such emergency warnings when I read about the accidental nuclear missile attack alert in Hawaii. People were abandoning their cars, heading for underground spaces and generally freaking out for an hour or so before things were straightened out.

With North Korea and their nuclear missiles in the news, I can understand why the alert would have stirred Hawaiians up. I didn’t see any reports on the number of heart attacks caused by the uproar or the number of accidents caused by panicked drivers but surely there were some.

I’m thinking I might have gone the heart attack route.

Of course that assumes that I would even hear the alert. I don’t know if our severe weather sirens would sound or not, but even if they did I would assume it was a tornado and just hope it didn’t hit me.

If I saw the warning on the Internet I probably wouldn’t believe it. Everyday there is stuff on there that I know isn’t true. Why would I believe an immediate warning of doom when none of the other warnings of doom I see on the net haven’t come true?

Experts say that a missile blast these days would likely be a solitary explosion from some rogue group, like a terrorist attack. So the best defense would to be where it isn’t. Pure luck, in other words.

There are all sorts of emergency management plans out there for all sorts of emergencies, but nuclear blasts are a whole ’nother ballgame. All you can do is hide and hope, or run away if there is time.

There are a lot of survivalist sites on the Internet but I really don’t know that I would want to survive a large nuclear war. It would certainly destroy the kind of easy lifestyle I’m accustomed to and I’m way past any roughing it days.

I checked with some of my friends and they all agreed that the only thing to do if we had such a warning would be to drink a beer. Probably two, providing there was time.

Be sure and keep some cold.

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