As two metro-east families grieve, one wants accountability, the other urges restraint

Ashley Koehler was a 38-year-old mother known to family and friends for her selfless concern for others. They were thrilled for her and her pride in the new SUV she had just purchased.

Her son, Jacob Emmerich-Tomlin, 10, was a fourth grader at Lebanon Elementary School and “a country boy,” who liked cowboy boots, power tools and helping with the yard work.

And then there was Blaise Nowak, 21, a laborer, adventure seeker, animal lover and newly devoted Christian who had a history of traffic violations, reckless driving and a DUI.

The three were brought together March 17 on a dark stretch of highway near the St. Clair-Clinton county line.

According to an incident report by Illinois State Police, Ashley was headed westbound on U.S. 50 at 8:49 p.m., after having just picked up Jacob from a friend’s house. He and his little sister, Gracie, were riding in the back seat of their mother’s month-old Honda Pilot, about four miles from home.

Blaise Nowak was coming the other way in a Lincoln MKZ, on his way home to clean up and take his girlfriend out for dinner. He crossed into the westbound lane at a high rate of speed to pass another driver, who later provided police with her account of the violent crash that ensued.

The Pilot and Lincoln collided head on near Clinton County Line Road. Jacob and Blaise were pronounced dead at the scene. Ashley was pronounced deceased later at the hospital.

The only one to survive was Gracie, 3, the youngest of Ashley’s five children. Last Friday, after three weeks at Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital in St. Louis, she was moved to a rehabilitation center, a hole purposely left open on her skull to relieve the swelling on her brain.

The Belleville News-Democrat has sent a Freedom of Information Act request for the final accident report from the Illinois State Police. That report and the results of toxicology testing could take weeks to complete.

In the meantime, two families are in turmoil, one demanding answers and accountability, the other urging restraint until all the factors involved in the crash are known.

“Devoted and Selfless”

Ashley Koehler needed a new vehicle to transport her five children and to get herself to and from work at Clinton Manor Living Center in New Baden. After she picked up the new Honda Pilot on Feb. 10, the first place she went was to her sister’s house.

“She came right over to show it to me. She was so proud of herself,” said Amanda Emmerich.

Amanda Emmerich worked with her sister at Clinton Manor for more than six years. Ashley had started there four years earlier. The two were best friends.

“We had real love,” Amanda said.

She could be shy at first, but once she got to know you Ashley was a devoted and selfless friend, said her sisters and her father.

“This is going to be tough to rebound from. We’ve lost someone great,” Amanda said. “Everybody loved working with her. She was a great person. Workers at Clinton Manor took up a collection and gave the money to Amanda at the hospital so the family could get food or gas. … My co-workers and my residents are all torn up about this.

“... Ashley was a very devoted and selfless person. She made sure everybody was taken care of before her.”

Her selflessness extended first and foremost to her five children, said Paul Emmerich.

“She was all about her family, especially her children,” her father said. “She was a hard worker. She was just a lot of fun. She was somebody you could mess with back and forth and she would not take anything too serious, except when it came to those kids.”

Besides Jacob and Gracie, Ashley’s children include Natalie 18, Lexi 16, and Jace 12. Their grandfather says the St. Patrick’s Day crash that took their mother and brother away from them has left them “devastated and confused.”

“They are trying to understand why it is this way, why their mother is gone,” Paul said. “There is a lot of pain in this family, but we have to be there for these children.”

“A Country Boy”

Jacob reflected some of the selflessness and family devotion his mother modeled, especially when it came to taking care of the house and yard.

“He loved power tools. When Christmas would come around, he would say he wanted a drill, a weed eater,” Paul Emmerich said of his grandson. “He was collecting tools. He was a handy guy. He liked cutting grass and doing the weed eating.”

Jacob’s Aunt Amanda also described weed eating as a particular passion for her nephew. Otherwise, he was a typical “country boy,” usually spotted in boots and hat and probably carrying a tool box.

He tested his limits sometimes “to see what he could get away with,” as boys will do, his grandfather added.

“I want everybody to know the type of kid he was,” Amanda said. “He was goofy. He loved to sing and dance all goofy. He loved hanging out with friends and playing video games. He was just a boy through and through.

“He had a lot of friends at Lebanon Elementary school, where he was a fourth grade student. A lot of people at his school were really hurt by this.”

Lebanon District 9 made grief counselors available to other students and staff at the school, the family said.

A fight for her life

After the crash, Gracie was airlifted to Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital in St. Louis with what a release from Illinois State Police described as life-threatening injuries. She had been strapped into a car seat in the back row of the Pilot, right next to her big brother.

She has a broken leg, a fractured cervical vertebrae and part of her skull was left open to relieve swelling on her brain.

“My little granddaughter, Gracie, is going through so much, fighting for her life,” said Paul on the day of his daughter and grandson’s funeral. “It is really tough for us. I don’t think her father has left the hospital. He’s been right there.”

But Gracie continues to make slow-and-steady improvement, her family says.

She was taken off a ventilator after six days and graduated from the intensive care unit to transitional care after 11.

On Friday, she was moved to a Rankin Jordan Pediatric Bridge Hospital, where physical therapy will begin in earnest, just as soon as she is fitted for a new padded helmet to protect that hole in her skull. The old one is too big now that some of the swelling has gone down, said Amber Emmerich, another of Ashley’s sisters.

She once again recognizes family members, smiles, giggles and gives high-fives. She’s more aware as the pain medications begin to wear off and her words come back to her more easily.

Sharon Sonsoucie, 78, has been spending her days at the hospital with her great-granddaughter. She’s kept tabs on physical and cognitive improvements, including last week when Gracie informed her “Grandma, I peed!”

“She’s a fighter,” Gracie’s Aunt Amber added.

The family started a GoFund Me page to help with Gracie’s medical bills and provide for her sister’s other three surviving children. As of Monday morning, the campaign had collected 90% of its $70,000 goal.

She’s also started collecting cards and well-wishes for a “journey memory box” for Gracie.

“When she is old enough to understand the whole situation, we would love to give this to her,” Amanda said. “We have had people reach out about what they can do or send Gracie.”

Anyone can contribute, she said in a Facebook post. Cards, letters and drawings can be sent to: Gracie/Kim Burtis, PO Box 571, Beckemeyer, IL, 62219.

“Generous and kind”

An obituary from Moss Funeral Home describes another family’s loss.

Blaise Nowak was something of an adventurer, who enjoyed hiking, cave exploration and high-end exotic cars. An outgoing and friendly person “who never met a stranger,” he also had a soft spot for animals, the obituary said. He volunteered free time at the Highland Humane Society.

Blaise was a card-carrying member of Laborers Union International, doing mostly roadwork in the metro-east. He also had worked at Butler’s Pantry of St. Louis, which gave him an interest in cooking, and was considering a career in real estate and refurbishing houses, his mother said.

Lanette and John Nowak, Blaise’s parents, added that their son had a newfound dedication to his Christian faith and was “a valued member” of Faith Church in Fairview Heights, where he was active in its ministries for young adults.

He never failed to end a conversation with family without saying “I love you,” his dad said.

“We knew he was always trying to help others, but, we have heard so many stories from people about what he did for them since the accident,” Lanette said. “When you hear a lot of the things others are telling us about our son it makes us feel good.”

They say they heard their son recently helped a homeless man in Belleville with food, temporary shelter and other resources. He also had allowed friends to leave him behind at a restaurant late one evening so he could comfort a man who was talking about committing suicide.

Blaise checked in with neighbors and helped them with chores and yard work, they said.

On the night he died, they said, Blaise had been helping a friend do repairs to his roof and shed. He then had plans for dinner with his girlfriend, but died in the crash about two miles from his Trenton home.

“He asked us for money sometimes to buy food for people who were hungry,” Lanette said. “He most recently was really connecting with his spiritual side, which is giving us peace.

“Blaise would drop anything and everything to help somebody. He was very generous and kind.”

Record of recklessness

In the aftermath of the March 17 crash, some in social media focused their assessment of Blaise Nowak’s character solely on his final moments and his record behind the wheel. Rumors and unconfirmed accusations inflamed emotions even further.

One comment accused the obituary of “glorifying a criminal.” Others castigated the BND for even publishing the obituary without directly blaming Blaise for the deaths of Ashley and Jacob and the life-threatening injuries to Gracie. Another blamed the John and Lanette Nowak for the deaths by not “raising their son better.”

Kinder comments blamed lawyers and judges for allowing Blaise to be behind the wheel of a vehicle.

Amber Emmerich posted screenshots from the websites of the circuit clerks offices of St. Clair and Madison counties which summarize Blaise’s criminal record. The BND confirmed the charges against him and reviewed the court records for details.

In St. Clair County, Blaise had been issued 11 citations dating back to February 2020, most of which were classified as Class P, or “minor,” traffic violations.

Four of those citations, however, came from a single incident in March 2023, including driving more than 20 mph over the speed limit, improper passing on the left and reckless driving, which is a Class A, or “major,” violation.

Those cases were pending in St. Clair County Circuit Court at the time of his his death. He was scheduled to next appear in court on May 15.

Blaise’s record in the Madison County Circuit Court also reflects a serial speeder, with citations issued in May, October and August 2021.

But in November 2021 – within a month of being sentenced to driving school after he pleaded guilty to driving 20-25 mph above the speed limit – Blaise was arrested and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol. He had just turned 18 at the time of the offense and was sentenced to court supervision and treatment for alcohol use and levied $1,500 in fees and penalties.

Almost two years had passed without Blaise being ticketed until he was charged in January, with driving an uninsured vehicle. Then, on March 3, two weeks before he and two others were killed, he was cited once more for allegedly disregarding a traffic signal.

Bonded in grief

Lanette and John Nowak declined to discuss their son’s legal history and urged restrained judgment on the fatalities, at least until the results of the investigation are known.

But they acknowledged their son’s role in the crash and its impact on others. They said they’ve tried reaching out to the Emmerich family, but haven’t heard back.

They understand.

“We are grieving desperately for the other family. Their lives are affected forever. That is the hardest part for us,” Lanette said. “... We understand that they are going through a lot. We want them to know we are constantly thinking about their family and the grief they are dealing with. We want people to support their family financially and any way they can.”

John has worked more than 45 years as a firefighter and EMT and has witnessed first-hand many tragedies and their devastating impact on victim’s families. Now he’s living it.

“Not only are Blaise’s people affected by this. We’ve got a whole other family that is affected,” he said. “This is what I do for a living – try to save people. This is what’s hard for me. I know what this does for family.

“We’ve got this poor little girl who needs prayer. This little girl, she was just on a ride with mom and now she’s sitting in a hospital fighting for her life. That kills me. Everybody I talk to I tell them ‘let’s help this family.’ Even if it’s not money, prayer helps. We’ve got that young Gracie on so many prayer lists. It tears my heart up.”

“Their hearts are crushed. Our hearts are crushed,” Lanette added. “There are really no words to express the grief we are all carrying.”

This story was originally published April 8, 2025 at 6:00 AM.