Happy Election Day, when we celebrate our differences as well as 240 years of unity and orderly transition of power — at least so far.
Here are some reminders in case you didn’t vote early or if you vote often.
Remember your clothespin. It’s hard to hold your nose and vote at the same time.
Remember that the dead are not supposed to vote. Audrey R. Cook, 88, of Alton was booted as an election judge and charged with a felony because she tried to vote the wishes of her husband of 66 years.
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“My husband was very sick, and we applied for absentee ballots for both of us,” she said. “We got them a couple of days after he died, and I knew how he wanted to vote.”
If Cook becomes a convicted felon, she no longer will be able to serve as an election judge or on a school board, but she will be able to run for state representative.
Remember that if you see felonious little old ladies committing election fraud today, or sinister characters carrying silver suitcases of cash below the bluffs, you can report them by calling 618-825-2366 or emailing VoterIntegrity@co.st-clair.il.us.
Remember that you, too, could become a felon if you take a ballot selfie showing how you voted.
Remember, you can register to vote at the polls in St. Clair and Madison counties, but that doesn’t mean you should. If you didn’t even bother to register, what are the chances you did your homework and are about to make informed decisions?
Remember that the polls are open from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m.