Feel frustrated when receiving an unsigned text or email? So do I. Here’s what to do

Q: I’m not certain how to handle something that is driving me nuts! OK, I understand, I guess, there have to be updates in technology, but there also has to be a way to handle the updates from a protocol or personal proper etiquette perspective as well. Here is what I mean: There has been an update in either my email procedures or Iphone messages and I am now getting emails with just a phone number in the subject line along with an “@” sign and some more initials and maybe not even something in the subject line.

There often is no signature or name at the end of the email, so unless I can remember every phone number and name of everyone who stays in touch with me, I don’t know who is sending me the email or message. So, I try to figure out who it is from the phone number or the content of the message or, as a last resort, I have to actually call the phone number and act really stupid trying to find out who it is if I don’t recognize their voice. And if I do recognize their voice, then I have to try to think of a reason why I am calling them because I don’t want to tell them I didn’t recognize their phone number.

All of this takes so much time. So, without causing ill feelings, what is the proper way of asking people to sign their messages or emails?

A. Yes, your frustration is not just yours. Others have mentioned this issue to me as well, and I must admit, it frustrates me also. You certainly can politely ask or notify your family, friends, colleagues, and extended family, friends, colleagues, and current and current and new acquaintances how helpful it would be for you if they would end their communication to you with their name for whichever form of communication they choose to use with you. You can also ask for a phone number, if you like, because, after all, there are times when a simple “pick up the phone and call” would save so many precious minutes of typing and waiting for a typed response.

Technology etiquette

Here are some general etiquette rules to apply regarding communicating with others via technology:

• Actually take your time to stop and think: What would be the best way to communicate or relay the information which is important enough to pass on to someone else? For example: Should I text this information or email it or should I pick up the phone and call? Choosing the correct form of communication each time is important.
• For big, exciting news: Consider calling because wouldn’t you rather receive a call regarding great news rather than reading a text or an email; especially, if you do not check those every minute of the day.
• Consider the time of day before you call or text. Great news or not, some people do not appreciate being called after 9 p.m. or before 9 a.m., or to hear the bleep notification when a text comes in.
• Consider location and possible time differences.
• Identify yourself at the beginning of the call because your voice is not always the same and it may not be recognized, especially if you are very excited.
• Realize you may get voicemail; therefore, consider what you will say to keep your message brief. There is nothing like checking your voicemails to find one person has taken the entire amount of time available for their message and you, therefore, have probably missed a lot of other important messages.
• If your information is complex or personal/confidential, ask yourself if you really want to text it or put it in an email, or for that matter, leave it as a voicemail message? If the answer is, “No, I do not want to or should not do that,” then do not. Instead, you can send a text or email or leave a voice mail asking for a phone call. Then be sure to provide your name and your preferred phone number.
• Proofread any text or email before you hit “send.” Remember: There is some magic little person up in the sky who is trying to read your mind, finish sentences or phrases for you or make corrections for you and sometimes that little person is not up to speed or totally off. Read what you have typed out loud to reconfirm if it makes sense and if you provided all the necessary information.
• Brevity: Whichever form of communication you choose, remember everyone’s time is valuable. Keep it as brief as possible.
• Intonation: If you leave a verbal message, be careful how you “sound.” Do I sound angry, upset, confrontational? Practice what you are going to say or erase it and start over. Review your written words as well to determine if you are sending an unwanted message and change the words as necessary.
• Considerate: If you meet someone new and the two of you decide you want to “stay in touch”, politely ask which form of “staying in touch” would this person prefer? Phone, text, email or does it matter? Just because you prefer texting, does not mean others like it at all. Periodically check with those with whom you normally communicate to reconfirm if they prefer texting, phone calls, emails, or even typed or handwritten letters.
• Remember: Always be kind, articulate as possible, polite, and considerate regardless of your choice of communication.

Congratulatory note

A special note of congratulations to all the beautiful and very polite young ladies who attended the “Punch Party Manners” session I taught Aug. 27 at the “B.U.I.C. Girls Conference - An Explosion of Splendor” at the Survel Event Space sponsored by Coverings Magazine and Survel Events.

This story was originally published September 10, 2022 at 7:00 AM.