Should I be upset my date ordered the cheapest item on the menu? BND expert weighs in
Q. I was invited by my neighbor to go with him to his school’s homecoming. We went to a nice restaurant for dinner first. He decided he would order for me because he said he had been there before and knew what was really good. First of all, is that normal? So we ate and it was okay, but nothing to rave about, but I noticed it was the lowest priced item on the menu. When the waiter came to ask if we wanted dessert, he quickly said we weren’t interested. Wasn’t that impolite? Shouldn’t he have asked me before he made that decision? I think he was short of money. We did have a good time though and he is a good dancer.
A. It is not uncommon for your date to order for you, especially if you have not been to the restaurant before and he says he knows what is good. Just because it happened to be the lowest priced item on the menu does not really mean that is why he wanted to order it for the both of you. It could have been what he said: It was the best item on the menu. However, the decision he made to not ask you about dessert was definitely improper. He could have been more polite if that were the case. If he was on a tight budget for the evening — which could very well have been the case since going to a homecoming dance or the prom is truly expensive — he could have said, “Gosh, I am really full so I don’t think I want dessert, but if you want some, I will order it for you.”
The bottom line is this: Put the price of the dinner out of your mind and remember instead: It was a good meal and a nice restaurant; you enjoyed his company; and he was a good dancer.
Another homecoming dance dilemma
Q. One of the girls I know in my church told me after church one Sunday she had been invited to go to a homecoming dance. She confided she did not have a dress to wear and knew her parents couldn’t afford to buy her a new one. So, since we are the same size, I told her she could wear one of mine. She came over and tried on what I had and selected the one she liked the best. I offered the jewelry and purse I wore with it. She asked which shoes I wore and I got them out for her and they actually fit her because there were a bunch of straps that could be tied for a size a little larger or smaller. I had a shawl that I wore so I gave that to her, too, because sometimes restaurants are cold. So she had a complete outfit.
Since I like playing with makeup and hair, I offered to do her hair and makeup so we had a lot of fun doing that, and it didn’t cost her anything. I felt good about doing all this for her. Two days after the homecoming she called and said she had a good time and would return everything soon. After four or five days she came over with most of it in a garbage bag. She had the dress on a hanger, covered with a white plastic bag. She basically handed everything to me, thanked me and then said she had to go. I took everything inside to my room, but didn’t take the time to look at everything and put it away.
A couple days later, I did and I found spots of food and punch on the front of the dress. The shawl had a rip in it — not big, but a rip. The shoes were scuffed. I was really sort of upset. Shouldn’t she have told me about all this or had the dress cleaned? Or could she not have noticed? Should I ask her about it and ask her to have the dress cleaned? I doubt, however, she has the money to do that. I guess I should have asked her to have the dress cleaned before she brought it back.
A. Well, you can and should feel good about yourself because you did a very nice thing for this girl. Yes, she should have had the dress and shawl cleaned before she returned them to you. Maybe she noticed the spots and the rip and maybe she did not, but she should have looked to make sure there were no spots or rips. You learned a lesson in life; however: The next time you agree to loan something to someone, especially a piece of clothing, simply say: “Please have it cleaned before you return it to me.”