Is there a polite way to tell your neighbor not to mow the grass so early?
Q. I can always tell when lawn mowing season is here because the sound of my neighbor’s lawn mower wakes me up every Saturday morning (unless it is raining) at 7 a.m. I have to get up early every day at 5 a.m. to go to work, and Saturday is the only day I can sleep in until maybe 9 a.m. before I have to start running errands. I have never brought up the subject to him of why he starts so early, although I seem him puttering around most of the day in and out of his garage. What if I went over to ask him if there was any way he could delay starting the mower until about 9?
A. Ah, the life of living with neighbors next door who often have different schedules and do things differently than we do. My response is this: If you knew this neighbor a lot better than I think you do, you might – and I emphasize “might” – be able to talk to him about it. However, since I do not think that is the case, I don’t want to come across as a smart alec, but I think I would invest in some comfortable ear plugs because your neighbor appears to have locked into a schedule that works for him.
Q. Our grandson is graduating soon and will be going to college in the fall. My husband and I have given him money in the past for specific things he says he wants and then find out he blows it on something else instead. Since we know his parents will struggle somewhat to pay his college tuition, we have decided we will pick up the tab for his books for four years. Our plan is to write that in his graduation card and when he lets us know how much the books are, we will pay for them via credit card or give enough cash to his mom in advance to take care of it. We know books are usually expensive, but if we give him cash in his graduation card, he is likely to have it all spent by the time book buying time arrives. Are we wrong in handling our graduation gift to him in this way?
A. No, not at all. Your grandson obviously has a track record for not handling his finances very wisely, and since you don’t know and he won’t know the cost of his books until later in the summer, it is quite logical to provide the “actual cash” to his mom in advance or to him when he gives you the amount. You don’t want to hurt his feelings or cause him to feel immature; therefore, nothing needs to be said to him about your thoughts as to how he handles his money.
Q. Our daughter is graduating from high school this year, and there has been one teacher in particular who has been very instrumental in helping her make some very tough decisions as to her future studies. We want to give her a thank you card with a note telling her how much we appreciate what she has done for our daughter, but we also want to give her a gift of some kind. We were thinking of a nice bracelet – something which every time she wears, she will remember how much we appreciated her. What is your opinion on this?
A. The thank you card and the note will be very much appreciated I am certain. And although giving a bracelet would be nice, I think having your daughter send her a note periodically as she progresses in her studies next year and the years after would be appreciated much more.