Good sportsmanship at youth league games begins in the bleachers

Q. I have seen on the news videos of some parents getting all upset with referees when there is a call they don’t like. I don’t think that is a very good example to be setting for their children, the team, the coaches and everyone else at the game. Would you please address proper and improper behavior at sporting events. It sort of coincides with one of your recent columns about school manners.

A. Yes, I have also seen some of these really sad and violent behavior episodes at various sporting events and whether or not it is a sports game at a child’s school or at the college and professional levels, improper behavior and poor manners are not appropriate. A refresher or reminder can always be helpful. As in all things in our lives, winning or losing is not always the most important element, it is how you play the game.

Sharing is taught to us at a very early age when we begin interacting with other children, including our siblings.

Sportsmanship evolves from sharing as we begin to play games and sports with other children. Webster’s definition of Sportsmanship is “conduct (such as fairness, respect for one’s opponent, and graciousness in winning or losing) becoming to one participating in a sport.” I contend this definition also pertains “to one watching the sport,” which is what I am addressing today.

Don’t:

▪ Criticize the referee. You may not agree with the referee’s call, but you have to remember you are not looking at the situation from the same angle and are not the one making the often-required, split-second call. Standing up and yelling derogatory comments at the referee is an embarrassment to not only yourself and to your child if he or she is on the team, but also to your other family members, the team, the coach and everyone present.

▪ Criticize the coach. Again, you may not agree with the coach’s coaching skills and/or decisions, but yelling your thoughts at the coach is definitely not appropriate for the same reasons cited above.

▪ Attempt Personal Contact with the Referee, the coach, other parents and other spectators;

▪ Approach a referee with violent physical intentions;

▪ Yell playing instructions to your child (or “coach from the sidelines” as it is often called) because the child’s focus needs to be on the instructions given to the team and each member of the team by the coach. You could significantly disrupt the entire game by pretending to be a coach.

▪ Yell or even speak derogatory comments under your breath regarding other members on either teams;

▪ Jump up and down during the game which can restrict other spectators’ views of the game;

▪ Invade other spectator’s space by moving around in front of your seat;

▪ Institage derogatory or controversial conversation with other spectators;

▪ Boo;

▪ Stress yourself. It is a game;

▪ Criticize your child after the game with what you feel wasn’t done correctly;

▪ Try to push your child into playing a sport just because you played that sport.

Do:

▪ Be certain to get your child to the game on time and be on time yourself so as not to cause a disruption while you take your seat. If you are late, wait until there is a time-out, or pause so you can take a seat without disturbing others.

▪ Clap and cheer on the team;

▪ Encourage your child to do the best they can, play as a team, be respectful to the coach and have fun;

▪ Set up an appointment with the coach to discuss your child’s skills (strengths and weaknesses) in the sport and present any questions you might have such as length of time your child is playing or not playing in the game if that is an issue.

▪ Enjoy the game;

▪ Be friendly to other spectators;

▪ Complement your child after the game by referring to specific plays;

▪ Be ready to console your child with positive comments if the game is not won;

▪ Remember children follow their parents’ reactions to a loss or a win; therefore, be sure to keep it a positive reaction;

▪ Congratulate opponents if they win the game or say something positive such as, “Good game – you have a great team” if they don’t win.

▪ Thank the coach and give uplifting comments even if the game is not won.