Here are some tricks for avoiding spooky etiquette at Halloween parties

Q. My husband and I have had a Halloween party for adults for several years and we always have it the closest Saturday night closest to Halloween if the 31st is not on Halloween. A couple we have invited the past two years has decided to have a party on the same night as ours this year – and they are inviting some of the same people who have always come to our party. We would like to call them and ask them to change their party to Sunday night or …. How do we handle this in a proper manner because we are really sort of upset?

A. I can understand why you are upset because it appears this couple is indeed being inconsiderate. But let’s give them the benefit of the doubt in that maybe they forgot you always have your party on the night they have also selected. Or maybe they have selected another night and the person who told you about it, got it mixed up. With these possible premises in mind, yes, give them a call and calmly and politely tell them you heard they were having a Halloween Party this year and that it might be on the same night as yours – the Saturday before Halloween as you have always done. It is important to remind them of your tradition of having your party the Saturday before Halloween. This then gives them the opportunity to realize they may have forgotten.

• If they respond indicating they did forget, then politely ask them if they could consider moving their party date to another night – “Having two parties is always more fun!” Hopefully, hopefully, they are going to apologize and willingly offer to change the date of their party.
• If, however, they indicate they realize they were scheduling their party the same night as yours, you can still politely remind them you have held your party for years on this Saturday before Halloween and ask them to consider changing their date. If they choose not to change their date without a very valid reason (and I cannot think of what that might be especially since they didn’t have the courtesy to contact you in advance to find out if you were planning on having your party), you have the option of possibly changing your party to the Friday or Sunday night before Halloween.

Q. My husband and I are planning a Halloween party at a local party venue this year instead of having it at our home as we have done in the past. Our party is really popular and it keeps growing each year because the word has gotten around about how great it is, so other neighbors and new friends either hint around about being invited or they have their friends put in a good word. We have always provided all the food, beverages, decorations, prizes for best costumes and games. We don’t want to jeopardize the quality of the food and beverages, etc., but since we will also have to pay for the venue this year, we are wondering if it would be proper to charge a modest amount for each person to attend?

A. Yes, you can charge your guests to attend. Merely put a note on your flyer or invitation which says something like this:

“Because of the increasing number of people who want to come to our annual Halloween party, and the fact that our house is no longer able to accommodate everyone, we will be holding this year’s party at ___. As always, we will have plenty of great food, beverages and prizes for games and best costumes, but feel it necessary to charge $(whatever the amount is) per person to help pay for the venue.”

Q. My boyfriend and I have been invited to a Halloween party with a BYOB request. We are new at this BYOB concept and have a couple of questions:

Do we put our name on the bottles that we bring to identify it as ours,or do we just put it on the bar and hope no one else drinks what we bring?

• If we bring hard liquor, do we also need to bring the mixers we want to use with it?
• If we just drink soda, does that mean we bring that, too?
• When we leave, do we take whatever is left in our bottles home with us, or unopened wine or soda, or do we leave it for the hosts of the party?

A. “BYOB” can mean “Bring Your Own Booze, Beer, or Beverages which can be non-alcoholic, if you do not drink alcohol.

• It is not proper to put your name on whatever beverage you bring. If someone wants to drink some of what you bring, if they know who brought it, it is polite for them to ask you. However, the beverages are usually all placed together; therefore, you can expect guests to drink whatever is available and not necessarily always what they brought.
• If there is a mixer you prefer with the liquor you bring, then bring the mixer with you as well.
• If you prefer to drink non-alcoholic beverages, bring those with you.
• It is not proper etiquette to take home any unopened beverages unless the hosts insist you do so. Furthermore, each state has their own laws about whether you can transport opened liquor in your car or even if secured in your trunk; therefore, be sure to check the law before you even think about taking an opened liquor bottle home with you. My recommendation would be to leave it at the party.