My wedding expenses are sky rocketing. Help! Do you have any cost cutting tips?

Q. I am in a terrible predicament, or I should say my future husband and I. We sent out wedding invitations for our wedding over a year ago which we then had to postpone because of the pandemic. Well, now we can have our long-awaited wedding and reception, but we have to have the reception at a different place. The problem is this place is a lot more expensive — I mean a lot more expensive!

From the beginning we decided to pay for everything for our wedding because we did not want to burden our parents. They’ve put us through college and we felt they deserved a break especially since both of us had and still have good jobs. But we also bought a house together and are making payments on that. And, we had to have new invitations printed as well and the cost of stamps has gone up as well. So, the bottom line is with the higher price of the meal and champagne and wine for the meal, and the open bar for the evening, we cannot invite the same number of people as we did before.

We have been going through the list and trying to decide who to cut. Once we decide, how do we let them know we can’t include them this time — or do we have to explain anything since it’s been so long ago? My future husband says if they don’t get an invitation, they will probably understand we had to make some changes and it is a totally “new ballgame.” I thought my mother was going to fall over when he said this in front of her?

Suggestions to solve your problem

A. Well, it sounds like a possible real dilemma! No wonder your mother almost fell over at the thought of “disinviting” originally invited guests or not sending them an invitation hoping they would understand or perhaps not notice.

I have some suggestions for you which may solve your problem: There is no iron-clad rule that says there has to be an “open bar” at a wedding reception. As a matter of fact, a lot of couples provide a specialty, premade alcoholic drink, and a non-alcoholic punch for the first hour of the reception only. After that, the bar becomes “pay as you go” or a “cash bar.”

Rarely is there an open bar for the entire evening unless you have an unlimited budget because open bars can be extremely, extremely expensive! It is because if a guest knows the drinks will be free all night, each guest is probably going to drink more than they usually do. Having an open bar for the entire reception puts both of you in a tenuous position if a guest over-drinks. You had better then have some designated drivers standing by if necessary, and a coffee pot full of fresh coffee available an hour before the evening ends.

Most couples do not serve a wine and a champagne to all their guests for dinner. Wine possibly, yes, but most of the time the champagne is reserved for the bride and groom and the wedding party only. If there are toasts, the guests can toast with wine.

Consider these savings tips

Therefore, I would:

• Cut the open bar for the entire reception.
• Select a medium-priced specialty, premade alcoholic drink for the first hour only and a tasty non-alcoholic punch.
• Tell the caterer you do not want “premium” liquor used for the specialty drink but “house liquor” instead.
• Have a “cash” bar available after the first hour.
• Serve champagne for the bride and groom and the wedding party only. Do not select the most expensive champagne either.
• Select one wine for the guests for dinner and cut the wine for the bride and groom and the wedding party.
• Do not have the wedding cake served if there is a fee associated with serving it. Instead, have it cut and plated and allow guests to come get a slice if they want a piece. Not all guests want a piece of the wedding cake and if it is served, it may still be sitting on their tables at the end of the evening.
• If there is a cutting/plating charge, consider asking a couple of your girlfriends, or cousins, to cut and plate the cake instead.
• Instead of having a number of floral centerpieces for the bride and groom’s/wedding party table, have one in front of the bride and groom and have the bridesmaids place their bouquets on the table in front of them.

These simple changes will not change the elegance of your wedding, but it will save a considerable amount of money — hopefully enough money so that you do not have to embarrass yourself by not inviting the same guests as before; nor will you cause hurt feelings by excluding someone from your original guest list.

Enjoy your special day!