From paying bills to ordering a turkey sandwich, technology reminds me who’s boss

Every time I think I may be making progress in catching up to a changing world of technology I get a dose of reality.

I was feeling sort of smug because I was paying some of my bills electronically. Everyone badgers you now to do this telling you how much more convenient it is and how it saves you money on postage and time and effort. Seems to me it does them more good than me but still I participate.

So, the other day I sat down to pay a credit card bill on my computer. I went through all the steps and hit the make payment button but it seemed like nothing happened. I went back and went through the steps and tried again. Still nothing, or so it seemed.

I even checked my credit card balance and my bank account to see if anything had happened. Nothing. I shrugged and decided to wait another day and then check on things. After all, it wasn’t the last moment, just the day before the last moment.

Again, the next day, which was the last moment, nothing showed anywhere. So I figured to avoid any problems I would just write a paper check and deposit it in an ATM the sponsoring bank had in town like I used to do.

A few days later I checked again and I had paid this bill three times. I thought I could count on the computer system to keep me from messing up but the computer apparently figured I was on my own.

The bill wasn’t a large amount. It was small enough that the statement actually told me I didn’t have to pay anything. But, of course next month there would be an interest charge. At least now I can use the card for a while until I break even.

Restaurant follies

In another of my clashes with technology, I went to a restaurant on Sunday morning, relishing the chance to finally sit down with a meal and read the Sunday paper like I used to do before all the restrictions,. When I walked in I was faced with a couple of self ordering kiosks. I probably could just have gone to the counter and ordered but I am a 21st Century man and I figured I could handle technology.

I attempted to order a turkey sandwich. The machine showed me one with all sorts of extra stuff. I didn’t want that so I tried to eliminate some of the fixings. I got rid of the mayonnaise but I couldn’t lose any of the other sauces or vegetables. I doggedly kept trying for about 10 minutes until I thought I had it right.

I got my sandwich but when I went to eat it, I found I had two slices of bread and a slice of cheese. I had canceled the turkey along with a bunch of other stuff.

The restaurant fixed my mistake. The order guy said he wondered at the unusual order but he could only make what was on the computer. After all, the customer is always right, even when he is an idiot.

20th Century technology is no picnic either

I even mess up 20th Century technology. I have an old chiming clock which has to be wound weekly. I wind the clock mechanism and the striking mechanism separately. Sometimes I forget and the two get out of sync so the clock chimes the wrong hour. It is easy to fix by activating the chime from inside the clock.

I’ve done it many times but somehow the other day when I tried to sync things I managed to get it so messed up that now the clock strikes on the half hour instead of the hour. And it still is an hour ahead at that. I must admit that is a first in the annals of my mechanical ineptitude.

And they say there is nothing new under the sun.

I just hope I manage to send this column from my computer to the newspaper.