Sunshine Squad in O’Fallon offers light in dark times for those affected by COVID-19

Loss is a life-changing experience for anyone, but during the coronavirus pandemic, suffering the death of a spouse seemed to add another component, said two women well-versed in comforting people during difficult times.

They have introduced the Sunshine Squad as a way to reach out to recent widows and widowers.

Kim Sabella, funeral director at Wolfersberger Funeral Home in O’Fallon, and Donna Meyers, an office assistant, said, with the isolation felt during COVID-19’s public health restrictions, they had taken extra steps to reach out.

“We heard that people wanted an opportunity to connect with others. We listened,” Sabella said. “We named it the Sunshine Squad because although it may seem dark and cloudy now, the sun will shine again for you.”

“There was just another layer of isolation,” Meyers said. “It was a loss of normalcy.”

For instance, if widows were used to attending church but that was no longer an option, or if they couldn’t see their families, that affected them.

“People are trying to figure out who they are and how to move forward after the death of a spouse or life partner,” Sabella said. “They don’t want to be fixed.”

Meyers said she called people to check up on them, and, upon digging a little deeper, discovered everyone felt seriously impacted by the pandemic. They wanted to hear from and be with others going through the same thing.

“We started out very small in May. We wanted it to be a safe place,” she said. “For some, this was their first time venturing out.”

Meyers has over 30 years experience as a nurse, and recently retired from HSHS St. Elizabeth’s Hospital after 14 years of serving patients and the community. During the last five years, she was the director of mission integration, spiritual care and community outreach.

“This is a great fit for Donna,” Sabella said.

Since May, the Sunshine Squad has offered monthly gatherings. They meet at the funeral home and have started gathering at other places, too. They have featured speakers who are relevant on topics the group would be interested in, plus social outings, group walks in the park, coffee chats, and, recently, meeting for lunch.

Coffee chats are from 7:30-8:30 a.m. on certain days for anyone who just wants company, and the monthly meetings are usually from 1-3 p.m. on a designated weekday.

Meyers said people are getting comfortable enough that they are reaching out to each other and look forward to seeing each other.

“We celebrate the little victories. It’s more than just dealing with grief. We are not grief counselors or psychologists,” Sabella said. “We know how to listen. We are not out to replace their church or their families. People have good days and bad days. We just want them to know that there are bumps in the road, but brighter days are ahead.”

The age ranges are wider than only senior citizens, and it is both men and women.

“They identified themselves as a couple, and they are no longer part of that,” Sabella said.

The support helps them to get back in the swing of things — when they are ready.

A little bit more about Sunshine Squad

Meyers said they keep it on a personal level, they share experiences and hear from people on similar journeys. They try to provide an education component, whether it’s on meal planning or health information.

“We provide support. This is new territory for them. We hear stories about how they fill their time, if they have trouble sleeping at night,” she said. “For some, they were so focused on caretaking, and now they don’t have that. We help them with the transition.”

They ask the group what topics they want to hear about — and even help with finding a handyman for household tasks has been discussed.

They meet at Rock Springs Park for walks, and plan to move them indoors at the YMCA this winter, Meyers said.

She stressed information shared is confidential. They ask cell phones be turned off during their gatherings. And this is solely another layer of compassion.

“We are not a mating service,” Sabella said.

Group for entire community, contact info

If people contact them, they can send a calendar of upcoming events.

Sabella stressed the group is not just for O’Fallon residents or people who have arranged services at Wolfersberger.

“We want to remind our community that even though you may feel alone, you are not alone in this journey,” she said. “If they need a connection, we are here for them. We want them to feel welcome.”

For more information, contact info@wfh-ofallon.com or call the office at 618-632-3681.